I just got my permit to harvest shrimp in the Antarctic.
Now I have a licence to Krill.
England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a
Liverpool.
When Peter Pan punches, they Never land.
The orthopaedist slipped outside for a break.
In democracy its your vote that counts. In feudalism its
your count that votes.
I hate the price of candy at the movie theatre. They're
always raisinette.
I met two policemen in a lift, I realized then I was
going down.
She's happy to make a pair of pants for you, or at least
sew its seams.
When I asked the man how he became a ditch-digger, he
said he just fell into it.
I really do have a photographic memory -- I just haven't
developed it yet.
A bacteria walked into a bar and the bartender said, 'We
don't serve bacteria in this place.' The bacteria said, 'But I work here, I'm
staph.'
When the head of the consulting team suggested that the
canal around the castle be filled up with cement, he was demoted.
I used to do balance and rotations at an auto shop. I
felt like I was just spinning my wheels and decided to retire.
A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper.
A rule of grammar: double negatives are a no-no.
Stealing someone's coffee is called 'mugging'.
The book of incantations was useless. The author had
failed to run a spell check.
Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they
don't believe in higher powers.
Epitaphs are engraved!
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