Tuesday, 4 March 2014

Funny Quotes - Page 7

Did you hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!

Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes, and you will learn a lot today.

If a man with no arms has a gun, is he armed?

Have you seen Quasimodo? I have a hunch he's back!

I couldn't care less about apathy.

Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence.

If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down.

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

If you think you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.

I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.

Smokers are just like everybody else. Just not as long.

Money isn't everything but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

He's a graduate of The Uncle Fester and Keith Moon School of hair styling.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

I was busier than a beaver in a coffee lake.

I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.