Saturday, 16 March 2013

Puns – Page 8

I once thought about cloning a new, more efficient brain, but then I realized that I was getting a head of myself.

She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.

My student was late for class, claiming he was in the washroom. I think he was stalling.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

I pricked my finger badly while trying to find a needle in my wife's sewing box. It was a crewel turn of events.

When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

I got a nasty electric shock the other day, but I wasn't phased.

The gravity was so powerful, I couldn't stand it.

If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

We were so poor when I was growing up we couldn't even afford to pay attention.

The Mafia decided to include beauty salons in their business and started a campaign of blackmailing.

I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.

My neighbour just got the part for Scrooge in a local performance. I'd love to go see him, but that play scares the Dickens out of me.

The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize.

Cloning is a nil conceived idea.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

How do you make antifreeze? Steal her blanket.

I wrote a novel about a fellow who had a small garden. It didn't have much of a plot.

I don't think I need a spine. It's holding me back.

I got a gold filling and put my money where my mouth is.