I once thought about cloning a new, more efficient brain, but then I realized that I was getting a head of myself.
She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.
My student was late for class, claiming he was in the washroom. I think he was stalling.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
I pricked my finger badly while trying to find a needle in my wife's sewing box. It was a crewel turn of events.
When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
I got a nasty electric shock the other day, but I wasn't phased.
The gravity was so powerful, I couldn't stand it.
If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
We were so poor when I was growing up we couldn't even afford to pay attention.
The Mafia decided to include beauty salons in their business and started a campaign of blackmailing.
I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
My neighbour just got the part for Scrooge in a local performance. I'd love to go see him, but that play scares the Dickens out of me.
The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize.
Cloning is a nil conceived idea.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
How do you make antifreeze? Steal her blanket.
I wrote a novel about a fellow who had a small garden. It didn't have much of a plot.
I don't think I need a spine. It's holding me back.
I got a gold filling and put my money where my mouth is.