Wednesday, 5 March 2014

Puns – Page 6

The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

I quit gymnastics because I was tired of hanging around the bars.

The coffee tasted like mud because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.

Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.

My student was late for class, claiming he was in the washroom. I think he was stalling.

I should have been sad when my flashlight batteries died, but I was delighted.

He said I was average - but he was just being mean.

I didn't have the faintest idea as to why I passed out.

I finally got rid of that nasty electrical charge I've been carrying. I'm ex-static!

Green grocers earn a meagre celery, come home beet and just want to read the pepper, take a leek, turnip the covers endive into bed.

I went to the store to buy some soup but they were out of stock.

The frustrated cannibal threw up his hands. 

When the head of the consulting team suggested that the canal around the castle be filled up with cement, he was demoted.

She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.

I saw a beaver movie last night, it was the best dam movie I've ever seen.

The indecisive rower couldn't choose either oar.

I'm inclined to be laid back.

A baker stopped making donuts after he got tired of the hole thing. 

The new weed whacker is cutting-hedge technology.

Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.