You kiss your girlfriend's/boyfriend's home page.
Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to
bottom.
Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.
You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to
search.
You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity
and no Wi-Fi
You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your
lap... and your child in the overhead compartment.
Your night dreams are in HTML.
You find yourself typing "com" after every
period when using a word processor.com.
You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time
you see a new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've never had
heart problems before.
You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you
can hear if new e-mail arrives.
When looking at a page full of someone else's links, you
notice all of them are already highlighted in purple.
Your pet has its own home page.
You've already visited all the links at Google and you're
halfway through Yahoo.
You realize there is not a sound in the house and you
have no idea where your children are.
You check your mail. It says "no new messages."
So you check it again.
You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor
the URL.
You don't know the gender of three of your closest
friends, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.
Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2 months.
You start looking for hot HTML addresses in public
restrooms.
You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before
you landscape.
You tell the cab driver you live at http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html
You actually try that 123.elm.street address.
You tell the kids they can't use the computer because
"Daddy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job.
Your friends no longer send you e-mail.... they just log
on to your IRC channel.
You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and
mouse.
Your spouse makes a new rule: "The computer cannot
come to bed."
You are so familiar with the WWW that you find the search
engines useless.
You get a tattoo that says, "This body best viewed
with Netscape 1.1 or higher."
You forget what year it is.
You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
You ask your doctor to implant a gig in your brain.
You turn on your computer and... turn off your
significant other.
Your spouse says communication is important in a
marriage... so you buy another computer so the
two of you can chat.
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