Sunday, 15 September 2013

Resume CV Mistakes - Page 6

Heading on stationery: “I’d Break Mom’s Heart to Work For You!”

“I am a ‘neat nut’ with a reputation for being hardnosed. I have no patience for sloppywork, carelessmistakes and theft of companytime.”

Experience: “Provide Custer Service.”

Experience: “I was brought in as a turnaround consultant to help turn the company around.”

Strengths: “Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.”

Work experience: “Responsibilities included checking customers out.”

Work experience: “Maintained files and reports, did data processing, cashed employees’ paychecks.”

Educational background: “Highschool was a incredible experience.”

Resume: “A great management team that has patents with its workers.”

Cover letter: “Experienced in all faucets of accounting.”

Objective: “I am anxious to use my exiting skills.”

Personal: “I am loyal and know when to keep my big mouth shut.”

Job duties: “Filing, billing, printing and coping.”

Application: “Q: In what local areas do you prefer to work? A: Smoking.”

Reason for leaving: “Terminated after saying, ‘It would be a blessing to be fired.’”

Personal: “My family is willing to relocate. However not to New England (too cold) and not to Southern California (earthquakes). Indianapolis or Chicago would be fine. My youngest prefers Orlando’s proximity to Disney World.”

Resume: “I have a lifetime’s worth of technical expertise (I wasn’t born – my mother simply chose ‘eject child’ from the special menu.”

Resume: “Spent several years in the United States Navel Reserve.”

Qualifications: “I have extensive experience with foreign accents.”

“I am fully aware of the king of attention this position requires.”

References: “Please do not contact my immediate supervisor at the company. My colleagues will give me a better reference.”

“Worked in a consulting office where I carried out my own accountant.”