“I am a ‘neat nut’ with a reputation for being hardnosed.
I have no patience for sloppywork, carelessmistakes and theft of companytime.”
Experience: “Provide Custer Service.”
Experience: “I was brought in as a turnaround consultant
to help turn the company around.”
Strengths: “Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining
composer.”
Work experience: “Responsibilities included checking
customers out.”
Work experience: “Maintained files and reports, did data
processing, cashed employees’ paychecks.”
Educational background: “Highschool was a incredible
experience.”
Resume: “A great management team that has patents with
its workers.”
Cover letter: “Experienced in all faucets of accounting.”
Objective: “I am anxious to use my exiting skills.”
Personal: “I am loyal and know when to keep my big mouth
shut.”
Job duties: “Filing, billing, printing and coping.”
Application: “Q: In what local areas do you prefer to
work? A: Smoking.”
Reason for leaving: “Terminated after saying, ‘It would
be a blessing to be fired.’”
Personal: “My family is willing to relocate. However not
to New England (too cold) and not to Southern California (earthquakes).
Indianapolis or Chicago would be fine. My youngest prefers Orlando’s proximity
to Disney World.”
Resume: “I have a lifetime’s worth of technical expertise
(I wasn’t born – my mother simply chose ‘eject child’ from the special menu.”
Resume: “Spent several years in the United States Navel
Reserve.”
Qualifications: “I have extensive experience with foreign
accents.”
“I am fully aware of the king of attention this position
requires.”
References: “Please do not contact my immediate
supervisor at the company. My colleagues will give me a better reference.”
“Worked in a consulting office where I carried out my own
accountant.”
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