The Good, Bad and Ugly

Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids 
Bad: You can't find your birth control pills 
Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them

Good: Your son studies a lot in his room 
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there. 
Ugly: You're in them

Good: Your husband understands fashion 
Bad: He's a cross-dresser 
Ugly: He looks better than you

Good: Your son's finally maturing 
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door 
Ugly: So are you

Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter 
Bad: She keeps interrupting 
Ugly: With corrections

Good: You wife's not talking to you 
Bad: She wants a divorce 
Ugly: She's a lawyer

Good: The postman's early 
Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying an AK47 
Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas

Good: You're daughter got a new job 
Bad: As a hooker Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients Way 
Ugly: She makes more money than you do

Good: You're son is dating someone new 
Bad: It's another man 
Ugly: He's you're best friend

Good: You're wife is pregnant. 
Bad: It's triplets 
Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago.

Good: You bought a winning lottery ticket
Bad: You bought it for another person

Ugly: That person's your mother-in-law

Good : You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter

Bad : She keeps interrupting

Ugly : With corrections