Saturday, 28 September 2013

Job Adverts

"Competitive Salary" 
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

"Join Our Fast Paced Company" 
We have no time to train you.

"Casual Work Atmosphere" 
We don't pay enough to expect that you will dress up.

"Must be Deadline Oriented" 
You will be six months behind schedule on your first day.

"Some Overtime Required" 
Some time each night, some time each weekend.

"Duties will Vary" 
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"Must have an Eye for Detail" 
We have no quality control.

"Seeking Candidates with a Wide Variety of Experience" 
You will need to replace three people who just left.

"Problem Solving Skills a Must" 
You are walking into a company in perpetual chaos. Haven't heard a word from anyone out there. Your first task is to find out what is going on.

"Requires Team Leadership Skills" 
You will have the responsibilities of a manager without the pay or respect.

"Good Communication Skills" 
Management communicates poorly, so you have to figure out what they want and do it.