Caught sleeping at work

1. "It's okay...I'm still billing the client."

2. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

3. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."

4. "I was working smarter, not harder."

5. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper."

6. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"

7. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"

8. "I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance."

9. "I'm in the management training program."

10. "I'm actually doing a 'Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan' (SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory seminar you (boss) made me attend."

11. "This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!"

12. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory towards people who practice Yoga?"

13. "The coffee machine is broke...."

14. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot."

15. "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"

16. "It worked well for Reagan, didn't it?"

17. "I was cross-training for telecommuting."

18. "Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!"

19. "I wasn't sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lenses without using my hands."

20. "The mailman flipped out and took out a gun so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot."

21. "Hello boss I thought you were gone for the day."