No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush
your hair.
It is a hundred times more difficult to burn calories
than to refrain from consuming them in the first place.
If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They
always catch the second person.
Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
Children are remarkably honest creatures until we teach
them not to be.
You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
Blame is the favourite pastime of those who dislike
responsibility.
Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
Even if it costs no money, nothing is free if it takes
time.
Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's
lap.
Nobody has it all figured out.
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