Lessons of a child

1. It is possible to outrun a water balloon, but not a Super-Soaker.

2. A Koosh Ball will explode in the microwave.

3. Never tease your little sister if there is a hockey stick within arms reach.

4. If someone is power-washing a wooden post fence, dont stand behind it.

5. Do not stick your finger in a Light Bright socket.

6. Bunnies do not appreciate being dressed up and walked around in a baby stroller.

7. If you're floating in a pool in an inner tube, it is very easy to flip yourself over so your head is underwater and your feet are flailing in the air, but it is very difficult to flip back over.

8. If you're involved in the creating of a whirlpool, and you are not tall enough to reach the bottom; hold on to someone who is.

9. Do not stick your finger in a bug zapper.

10. Do not convince your little sister to stick her finger in a bug zapper if your mother is within hearing range.

11. On second thought, just stay away from bug zappers.

12. Puppies do not like trampolines.

13. Do not eat before volunteering yourself to be rolled down a hill in a trash barrel.

14. Spiders do not like baths.

15. Goldfish do not like being pet, held, or taken for walks.

16. Chickens do not like being taken for walks.

17. If you try to put a collar and leash on a chicken and take them for a walk, odds are you will be pecked.

18. Dont tell your mother "exactly" why the chicken pecked you.

19. The ice cream truck and the mail truck look very similar, be sure you know which one is coming before you run out in the street waving a dollar in your hand.

20. The mailman doesn’t like it when you run out in the middle of the street waving a dollar in your hand screaming for a snow cone.

21. If you ride a Barbie Jeep in the middle of your street, cars behind you will get mad.

22. Never "ice skate" in your socks on the kitchen floor when your mother is trying to get dinner on the table.

It is possible to outrun a water balloon, but not a Super-Soaker.