Where there's a will, I want to be in it!
That’s all I'm saying and I ain't saying no more.
YOU! Out of the gene pool.
You can't be late until you show up.
Honk if you like peace and quiet.
This was better than any diet I've ever been on.
My boss is like a diaper, full of shit and always on my ass!
If God intended man to smoke, He would have set him on fire.
She’s Always Late. Her Ancestors Arrived On The June Flower
Careful, I’m not wearing clean underwear!
Don't start with me you won't win!
If life hands you a lemon, stuff your bra with it.
House Guarded By Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days.
If your stupid and you know it honk your horn.
Time Circles: The Lord Creates The Universe Evolves The Lord
Your lucky color has faded.
Getting on your feet requires getting off your butt.
It's bad luck to be superstitious.
Sex is a misdemeanor . . .the more I miss it, the meaner I
get!!
It's not the size of the boat that matters; it's the motion
in the ocean.
I'm only a hypochondriac when I feel sick.
If you can read this, THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!!!
Another brilliant mind ruined by higher education.
RECYCLE YOUR ANIMALS
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Before giving someone a piece of mind be sure you have
enough to spare!
Air Pollution Is A Mist-Demeaner
When The Chips Are Down, The Buffalo Is Empty
Smile and the world smiles with you, Fart and you stand
alone.
Im not tailgating im just tring to keep my bumper on.
Nothing is illegal until you get caught.
I Feel Like I’m Diagonally Parked In A Parallel Universe
Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most!
To be loved, be lovable
Eternity: Smoking or Non-Smoking?
If you think the way to a man's heart is through his
stomach...your aiming too high.
MEN. bigger. stronger. better.
Don't trust women.
I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're
everywhere.
Chemistry Professors Never Die, They Just Smell That Way!
How's my driving? Dial 1-800-YOU-SUCK
Its all fun and games until someone loses an eye.
WARNING: DATES ON CALENDAR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY
APPEAR.
CAUTION I BRAKE FOR HOOKERS.
Live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking corpse
behind.
If the company's name is YELLOW, why are the trucks painted
ORANGE?
Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say.
T.G.I.F Thank God I'm Female.
Why do they call it a bumper if your not going to use it?
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