Puns - Page 5

Short-order cooks in busy restaurants call themselves 'pressure cookers'.

Making up puns about the finest soil is the loess form of humor.

I wrote a novel about a fellow who had a small garden. It didn't have much of a plot.

The weigh-in at the Sumo wrestling tournament was a large scale effort.

The bridegroom got to the church when he was supposed to. He was at the rite place at the rite time.

The race dogs got a bad case of the fleas - they had to be scratched.

A relief map shows where the restrooms are.

I was kicked out of math class for one too many infractions.

To disparage the wind is disgusting.

Reading music makes me crotchety

I didn't have the faintest idea as to why I passed out.

My mate swallowed a cordless vacuum cleaner, they took him to hospital and he is picking up nicely.  

There was a sale at the fish market today. I went to see what was the catch.

I told my wife I thought the electrician had said he'd be over by noon, unless I got my wires crossed.   

The patient decided against an organ transplant. Instead, he changed his mind.

I finally got rid of that nasty electrical charge I've been carrying. I'm ex-static!

When asked whether or not I was bilingual, I was about to say I knew sign language, but I figured it was sort of a mute point.

               

When the head of the consulting team suggested that the canal around the castle be filled up with cement, he was demoted.

The new smoking cessation drug is expensive, and it's shrinking city coffers.

There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal.