Wednesday, 26 February 2014

Puns - Page 5

She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.

It is tough to do inventories in Afghanistan because of the tally ban.

I really do have a photographic memory -- I just haven't developed it yet.

Alcohol and calculus don't mix so don't drink and derive.

I wanted to lose weight so I went to the paint store. I heard I could get thinner there.

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

I've been to the dentist several times so I know the drill.

I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.

It's raining cats and dogs. Well, as long as it doesn't reindeer.

The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

The new weed whacker is cutting-hedge technology.

I went to the store to buy some soup but they were out of stock.

I'm inclined to be laid back.

Did you hear about the fire at the circus? The heat was in tents.

I saw a beaver movie last night, it was the best dam movie I've ever seen.

The frustrated cannibal threw up his hands.

He didn't tell his mother that he ate some glue. His lips were sealed.

A criminal's best asset is his lie ability.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.