Monday, 1 April 2013

Puns – Page 10

A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. 'Are

you the friar?' he asks. 'No. I'm the chip monk,' he replies.

Why did the capacitor kiss the diode? He just couldn't resistor.

The patron saint of poverty is St. Nickeless.

The little old woman who lived in a shoe wasn't the sole owner - there were strings attached.

That soil scientist always travels by himself. He's a loam ranger.

I used to hate maths but then I realised decimals have a point.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

He has been a jogger for three years running.

Once you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster.

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

It is tough to do inventories in Afghanistan because of the tally ban.

I finished my trigonometry exam without a secant to lose.

You want to clone yourself? Now wouldn't that be just like you!

'I am presently employed', said the gift wrapper.

If towels could tell jokes they would probably have a dry sense of humor.

In a recession, the most secure job is garbage-man. Business is always picking up.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

The inventor of the incubator was the first hatch-it man.

He said I was average - but he was just being mean.

The royal pharmacist wore a tuxedo and dispensed with formalities.

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.

A funeral ship is a sea hearse.

Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.

The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.