My Mother Taught Me

TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

LOGIC - "Because I said so, that's why."

LOGIC - "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

IRONY - "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

About the science of OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

CONTORTIONIST - "Will you "look" at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

STAMINA - "You'll sit there 'till all that spinach is finished."

WEATHER - "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

PHYSICS PROBLEMS - "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen THEN?"

HYPOCRISY - "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"

THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - "Stop acting like your father!"

ENVY - "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

ANTICIPATION - "Just wait until we get home."

RECEIVING - "You are going to get it when we get home!"

MEDICAL SCIENCE - "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

THINK AHEAD - "If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

ESP -"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"

HUMOR - "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

BECOME AN ADULT - "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

GENETICS - "You're just like your father."

ROOTS - "Do you think you were born in a barn?"

WISDOM OF AGE - "When you get to be my age, you will understand."

JUSTICE - "One day you'll have kids ... and I hope they turn out just like you!"