Salary desired: “Starting over due to recent
bankruptcies. Need large bonus when starting job.”
Bad traits: “I am very bad about time and don’t mind
admitting it. Having to arrive at a certain hour doesn’t make sense to me. What
does make sense is that I do the job. Any company that insists upon rigid time
schedules will find me a nightmare.”
References: “Bill, Tom, Eric. But I don’t know their
phone numbers.”
Work experience: “Two years as a blackjack and baccarat
dealer. Strong emphasis on customer relations – a constant challenge
considering how much money people lose and how angry they can get.”
Personal: “I limit important relationships to people who
want to do what I want them to do.”
Objective: “Student today. Vice president tomarrow.”
Accomplishments: “Brought in a balloon artist to
entertain the team.”
Application: Why should an employer hire you? “I bring
doughnuts on Friday.”
Achievements: “First runner-up for Miss Fort Worth,
1982.”
Reason for leaving: “Pushed aside so the vice president’s
girlfriend could steal my job.”
Special skills: “I’ve got a Ph.D. in human feelings.”
Reason for leaving last job: “Bounty hunting was outlawed
in my state.”
Experience: “Any interruption in employment is due to
being unemployed.”
Objective: “To become Overlord of the Galaxy!”
Objective: “What I’m looking for in a job: #1) Money #2)
Money #3) Money.”
Hobbies: “Mushroom hunting.”
Experience: “Child care provider: Organized activities;
prepared lunches and snakes.”
Objective: “My dream job would be as a professional baseball
player, but since I can’t do that, I’ll settle on being an accountant.”
Awards: “National record for eating 45 eggs in two
minutes.”
Accomplishments: “My contributions on product launches
were based on dreams that I had.”
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