Monday, 5 August 2013

Resume CV Mistakes - Page 4

Skills: “I can type without looking at thekeyboard.”

Employer: ” Myself; received pay raise for high sales.”

Objective: “I want to play a major part in watching a company advance.”

Experience: “Chapter president, 1887-1992.”

Experience: “Demonstrated ability in multi-tasting.”

Experience: “I’m a hard worker, etc.”

Languages: “Speak English and Spinach.”

Reason for leaving: “I thought the world was coming to an end.”

Additional skills: “I am a Notary Republic.”

Objective: “So one of the main things for me is, as the movie ‘Jerry McGuire’ puts it, ‘Show me the money!’”

Skills: “I have integrity so I will not steal office supplies and take them home.”

Objective: “To hopefully associate with a millionaire one day.”

Skills: “I have technical skills that will take your breath away.”

Qualifications: “I have guts, drive, ambition and heart, which is probably more than a lot of the drones that you have working for you.”

Objective: “I need money because I have bills to pay and I would like to have a life, go out partying, please my young wife with gifts, and have a menu entrée consisting of more than soup.”

Qualifications: “Twin sister has accounting degree.”

Experience: “Have not yet been abducted by aliens.”

Skills: “Written communication = 3 years; verbal communication = 5 years.”

Objective: “I would like to work for a company that is very lax when it comes to tardiness.”

Education: “I possess a moderate educatin but willing to learn more.”

Education: “Have repeated courses repeatedly.”