Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till
5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic
Dear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada
Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's
Yahoo! it..."
Just saying...
Sincerely,
Google
Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding!
They're all dead.
Sincerely,
BP
Dear Skin-Coloured Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin colour.
Sincerely,
Black people
Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain… no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin
Dear Ugly People,
You're welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol
Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end
there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy,
ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans
Dear iPhone,
Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice
words.
You piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User
Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up...
Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey Shore
Dear Man,
It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant
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