Wednesday, 15 January 2014

Funny Quotes - Page 2

Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead

A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer

When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'

Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like

It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before

I love you like a fat kid loves cake

Never memorize something that you can look up

Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you

There are two motives for reading a book; one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.