Tuesday, 21 January 2014

Funny Quotes - Page 3

Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice

Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone

From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere

The meek may inherit the earth, but at the moment it belongs to the conceited. Like me

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature

Because you can't argue with all the fools in the world. It's easier to let them have their way, then trick them when they're not paying attention

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early

Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it

Deadlines just aren't real to me until I'm staring one in the face

Black holes are where God divided by zero

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone

Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you

I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made

I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness