Thursday, 2 January 2014

Puns - Page 1

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal.

I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy.

Why did the capacitor kiss the diode? He just couldn't resistor.

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.

There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.

Mummies are bound to be uptight.

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.