Friday, 17 January 2014

Puns - Page 2

No one knew she had a dental implant until it came out in a conversation.

A new type of broom came out, it is sweeping the nation.

When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.

The store keeps calling me to come back and buy more bedroom furniture, but all I really wanted was one night stand.

The patron saint of poverty is St. Nickeless.

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'.

A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.

My neighbor just got the part for Scrooge in a local performance. I'd love to go see him, but that play scares the Dickens out of me.

Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run.

Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.
I wrote a novel about a fellow who had a small garden. It didn't have much of a plot.

Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.

My new theory on inertia doesn't seem to be gaining momentum.

Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.

Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.

Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.

I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.