A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
Would a wingless fly be called a walk?
Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace prize.
I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't
listen.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
One goldfish says to the other, "If there's no God,
who changes our water every week?"
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Lord save me from your followers.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no
lifeguard.
Jesus is coming, so look busy.
He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack
festival.
Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet
engines.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited
inventory.
Me and my recliner - we go WAY back.
If you really love someone, throw the ball and say
"Fetch!"
Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to market reproductive
organs.
Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.
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