Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the
person next to you. Repeat procedure, making sure you never provoke the person
enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension, and it is far more
effective to let them linger.
If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for
split ends, cut them and deposit them on your neighbour’s keyboard as you
leave.
Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal
Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
Come to the office wearing several layers of socks.
Remove shoes and place them of top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer
and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic
beauty of cotton on plastic.
Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up
your paper like this. Then go to your supervisor and complain about the bad
working conditions.
Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in
flames!!!" and continue working.
Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer
is smoking.
Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.
Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying
"Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the
keyboard & taking it.
Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.
When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that
sometimes the old ways are best.
Run into the office, shout "Armageddon is
here!!!!!", then calmly sit down and begin to type.
Stare at the person's next to your screen, look really
puzzled, burst out laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing;
grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go.
Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while
making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse,
then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek up from under the
table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh, good. It worked this
time," and calmly start to type again.
Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain
that the lead doesn't work.
Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.
Bring a small tape player with a tape of really absurd
sound effects. Pretend it's the computer and look really lost.
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