Wednesday, 20 March 2013

Wind people up in the office. – Page 1

Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.

Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.

When your computer is turned off, complain to IT Tech that you can't get the damn thing to work. After they turn it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.

Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.

Before anyone else is in work, connect each computer to different screen than the one it's set up with.

Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.

Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret government files.

Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.

Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.

Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes at everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.

Enter the office, undress, and start staring at other people as if they're crazy while typing.

Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.

Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Oh please oh please oh please oh please," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.

Start making out with the person at the desk next to you (It helps if you know them, but this is also a great way to make new friends).

Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.

If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever saving large files.

Draw a picture of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper, tape it to your monitor. Try to seduce it. Act like it hates you and then complain loudly that women (men) are worthless.

Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the CD drive, when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.

Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when its all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.