Saturday, 11 May 2013

Funny Quotes – Page 15

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?

If evolution is fact, why do mothers only have two hands?

Schizophrenia beats being alone.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

My wild oats have turned to shredded wheat!

Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.

Follow your dreams, except for that one where you're naked at work.

If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you see perfectly?

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

I intend to live forever - so far so good.

I don't have a solution, but I do admire the problem.

Can a blind person feel blue?

Jesus loves you, it's everybody else that thinks you're an ass.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

If a parsley farmer is sued do they garnish his wages?

How much can I get away with and still go to heaven?

That guy is so old he shops at EXTREMELY Old Navy.

To err is human. To forgive is against company policy.