Sunday, 19 May 2013

Sarcastic Quotes – Page 7

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

It's never too late to go wrong.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

They worship the ground that he walks away from.

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.

Sarcasm: A literary device for identifying the stupid.

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

I am easily satisfied with the very best.

He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.

It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.

Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.

Absence makes the heart want to fondle other people.

I wish we were better strangers.

A true friend stabs you in the front.

We have the best government that money can buy.

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.

She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.

I thank God that you are unique!