As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
Sing along at the opera.
Pay your electric bill in pennies.
only type in lowercase.
Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
Mow your lawn with scissors.
Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
Don’t use any punctuation in office memos
Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
Name your dog "Dog."
Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
Dress only in clothes coloured Hunters Orange.
Use your MasterCard to pay your Visa.