Friday, 12 July 2013

Funny Quotes - Page 20

When blondes have more fun do they know it?

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

Be nice to your kids: they'll choose your nursing home.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Ham and Eggs - A day's work for a chicken; a lifetime commitment for a pig.

Any closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard enough.

I can't get enough minimalism.

Birthdays are good for you - the more you have the longer you live.

If you think there is good in everybody then you obviously haven't met everybody.

Am I ambivalent? Well, yes and no.

Is there another word for synonym?

Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?

I think I'm agnostic, but I haven't decided.

I don't want buns of steel. I want buns of cinnamon.

Do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The colder the x-ray table the more of your body is required on it.

Some days it's not worth chewing through the straps.

Dyspraxics are people three.

Losing a husband can be hard: in my case it was almost impossible.

I'd like to have more self-esteem, but I don't deserve it.

I'm one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.

A day without radiation is a day without sunshine.