Sunday, 7 July 2013

How many … to change a light bulb - Page 2

How many procrastinators does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but he has to wait until the light is better. 

How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb? "We just report the facts, we don't change them." 

How many IRS agents does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but it really gets screwed. 

How many art students does it take to change a light bulb? One, but he gets two credits. 

How many Ska kids does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to drop it, and one to "Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up!"

How many Lutherans does it take to change a light bulb? Change? Why change? 

How many beta testers does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just find the problems, they don't fix them. 

How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? Nobody knows. They won't release the information.

How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project. 

How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb? None, the darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself. 

How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and one not to change it. 

How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but it takes eight million years. 

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side. 

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but only if the light bulb really wants to change. 

How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb? One hundred. One to do it and 99 to say "Hey, I could have done that!" 

How many bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four. One to change it, and three to complain that it's electric. 

How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three, one to screw it in, and two to help him down off the keg. 

How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb? One. 

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side. 

How many pimps does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drive the pink Cadillac in tight circles. 

How many men does it take to change a toilet paper roll? Who knows? It's never happened! 

How many advertising executives does it take to change a light bulb? Interesting question, what do YOU think? 

How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but you should have seen the size of that lightbulb!

How many babysitters does it take to change a light bulb? None, Pampers don't come in a size that small. 

How many Vietnam Vets does it take to change a light bulb? Forget it, man, you just wouldn't understand.