Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send them off
to preschool as if nothing was wrong.
Wear a LOT of cologne.
Leaf through National Geographic and draw underwear on
the natives.
Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
Specify that your drive-through order is "to
go."
Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman
smells" until physically restrained.
Bill your doctor for the time spent in his waiting room.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't
rhyme.
When someone says, "Have a nice day" tell them
you have other plans.
Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their
parsley.
Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over
climactic parts of rental movies.
Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the
great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and
demand that people pronounce each "a."
Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
Lie on your back eating celery using your navel as a salt
dipper.
Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the
bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it
up," and repeat.
Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a
"magic picture."
Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything
they touch with Lysol.
Finish all your sentences with the words "in
accordance with the prophesy."
Light road flares on a birthday cake.
Retaliate for tax woes by filling out your tax forms with
Roman numerals.
No comments:
Post a Comment