Sunday, 28 July 2013

Funny things to amuse yourself - Page 5

Pay for your dinner with pennies.

Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send them off to preschool as if nothing was wrong.

Wear a LOT of cologne.

Leaf through National Geographic and draw underwear on the natives.

Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

Bill your doctor for the time spent in his waiting room.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

When someone says, "Have a nice day" tell them you have other plans.

Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

Lie on your back eating celery using your navel as a salt dipper.

Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

Light road flares on a birthday cake.

Retaliate for tax woes by filling out your tax forms with Roman numerals.