Tuesday, 9 July 2013

Puns - Page 18

Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? A thousand soles got burned, some heel did it while he was laced.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

Puns about monorails always make for decent one-liners.

I only listen to waltzes 3/4 of the time.

My famous bacon soup recipe began as an add hock meal.

Permanent press is a cycle of news laundering.

The guitarist passed out on stage, he must have rocked himself to sleep.

Losing your head in an emergency is a no brainer.

It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

The guitarist passed out on stage, he must have rocked himself to sleep.

I just bought a pair of bad frequency shoes. I keep doppling over and my foot hertz.

Did you hear about the fire at the circus? The heat was in tents.

When the cannibal showed up late to the luncheon, they gave him the cold shoulder.

I went to the store to buy some soup but they were out of stock.

You know prices are rising when you buy a winter jacket and even down is up.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.

If you lose your hearing, is it ear replaceable?

I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy.

A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.

I used to be a banker but I lost interest.

I usually take steps to avoid elevators.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn't help me.

My grade in Marine Biology is below sea-level.

What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.