You ever asked to be gagged with a spoon.
If male: your first love was Marsha Brady, Jeannine,
Samantha from Bewitched, Josie or any one of the Pussycat.
You can remember the words to the theme song of "The
Greatest American Hero." ("BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I'M WALKIN' ON AIR... I
NEVER THOUGHT I COULD FEEL SO FREE-EE-EE...")
You've recently horrified yourself by using any one of
the following phrases: "You know, back when...," "When I was
your age...," or "When I was younger..."
You actually remember Mr. Bill.
You recall when Love's Baby Soft was in every girl's
Christmas stocking.
You ever owned a Donnie and Marie or Sonny and Cher
poster.
You remember having a rotary phone.
"All skaters, change directions" means
something to you.
You remember having to get off the couch to change the TV
channel.
You remember "Friday Night Videos" before the
days of MTV.
You're currently employed doing something that has
absolutely nothing to do with your college major.
You were not allowed to see The Exorcist, The Omen, or
The Blue Lagoon when they came out.
You remember when there was only "G",
"PG", and "R".
A predominant colour in your childhood photos is
"plaid".
You remember the days when "safe sex" meant
"my parents are going out of town".
Your jaw would ache by the time you finished one of those
brick-sized packages of Bazooka!
You can recite the Preamble to the Constitution, but only
to the tune of Schoolhouse Rock.
You've ever owned a pair of rainbow suspenders like the
ones Mork used to wear.
You know all the words to the double-album set of the
"Grease" soundtrack.
You remember wanting to stay up to see Mr. Bill on
Saturday Night Live.
You ever had a Dorothy Hamill haircut or used Short and
Sassy shampoo.
You know who shot J.R.
You owned a Jordache anything, or you remember when
Jordache jeans were cool.
Most of the fillings in your mouth are directly related
to Bazooka or Bubble Yum.
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