Friday, 19 April 2013

Funny Quotes – Page 13

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

Heck is where people go who don't believe in Gosh.

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?

Forgive and forget, but keep a list of names just in case.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

When blondes have more fun, do they know it?

I was more nervous than a ceiling fan storeowner with a comb-over.

Under my gruff exterior lies an even gruffer interior.

Everybody repeat after me: "We are all individuals."

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Bureaucrats cut red tape, lengthwise.

I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.

I got arrested in LA and boy am I beat!

Save the whales: collect the whole set .

I like my men like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

I have not yet begun to procrastinate.