Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food colouring.
The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
Alcohol and calculus don't mix so don't drink and derive.
Weight loss mantra? Fat chants!
The patron saint of poverty is St. Nickeless.
No one knew she had a dental implant until it came out in
a conversation.
Partying Saturday and Sunday leaves me feeling weakened.
A baker stopped making donuts after he got tired of the
hole thing.
A noun and a verb were dating but they broke up because
the noun was too possessive.
When the electricity went off during a storm at a school
the students were de-lighted.
Johnny got his leg cut off in an accident. He's walking
it off now.
A criminal's best asset is his lie ability.
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.
With the apocalypse approaching, Armageddon out of here!
Need an ark to save two of every animal? I Noah guy.
I try wearing tight jeans, but I can never pull it off.
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
Henry the VIII portrayed the monarchy badly. This gave
birth to the concept of the 'royalty-free image'
Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about
time too.
He avoided funerals because he was not a mourning person.
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