Thursday, 25 April 2013

Puns – Page 12

The aspiring limbo dancer overcame his fear of crowded bars, becoming a significant underachiever.

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food colouring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

Alcohol and calculus don't mix so don't drink and derive.

Weight loss mantra? Fat chants!

The patron saint of poverty is St. Nickeless.

No one knew she had a dental implant until it came out in a conversation.

Partying Saturday and Sunday leaves me feeling weakened.

A baker stopped making donuts after he got tired of the hole thing.

A noun and a verb were dating but they broke up because the noun was too possessive.

When the electricity went off during a storm at a school the students were de-lighted.

Johnny got his leg cut off in an accident. He's walking it off now.

A criminal's best asset is his lie ability.

Seven days without a pun makes one weak.

With the apocalypse approaching, Armageddon out of here!

Need an ark to save two of every animal? I Noah guy.

I try wearing tight jeans, but I can never pull it off.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

Henry the VIII portrayed the monarchy badly. This gave birth to the concept of the 'royalty-free image'

Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.

He avoided funerals because he was not a mourning person.