A low down bum!
Why did the man take a pencil to bed?
To draw the curtains!
What's the difference between an American student and an
English student?
About 3000 miles!
Why is Russia a very fast country?
Because the people are always Russian!
How do you cure a headache?
Put your head through a window and the pane will just
disappear!
What did one virus say to another?
Stay away! I think I've got penicillin!
What happens when plumbers die?
They go down the drain!
Your ugly.
And you're drunk.
Yes, but in the morning I'll be sober!
How do you stop a cold getting to your chest?
Tie a knot in your neck!
What is the fastest thing in water?
A motor pike!
What do you get if you cross a crocodile with a flower?
I don't know, but I'm not going to smell it!
What button won't you find in a tailors shop?
Belly button!
Why didn't the banana snore?
Because it didn't want to wake up the rest of the bunch!
What do you call a man with cow droppings all over his
feet?
An incowpoop!
If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make?
Slippers!
Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?
He wanted to find Pluto!
What happened when the wheel was invented?
It caused a revolution!
Why did cavemen draw pictures of hippopotamuses and
rhinoceroses on their walls?
Because they couldn't spell their names!
What is the noisiest game?
Squash - because you can't play it without raising a
racquet!
Where do flies go in winter?
To the glass foundry to be turned into bluebottles!
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