Wednesday, 3 April 2013

Short Jokes – Page 1

How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.

Why did the policeman smell bad? He was on duty.

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? FO DRIZZLE!

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? Because it has a silent pee.

What did the Zen Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything.

What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boobies.

Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, “Why the long face?”

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, get out of here! We don’t serve mushrooms here”. Mushroom says, “why not? I’m a fungi!”

I never make mistakes…I thought I did once; but I was wrong.

What’s Beethoven’s favourite fruit?…Ba-na-na-naaa!

What did the little fish say when he swam into a wall? DAM!

Where does a sheep go for a haircut? To the baaaaa baaaaa shop!

What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business!

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.

What’s the last thing that goes thru a bug’s mind as he hits the windshield? His butt.

The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense.

What goes “ha ha thump”? A man laughing his head off.

What did the grape say when he was pinched? Nothing, he gave a little wine.

What’s brown and sticky? A stick!

Why are pirates so mean? I don’t know, they just arrrrrrrrr!

Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh!

What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat miner.

Have you heard about the cannibal that passed his brother in the forest?

What do you call cheese that’s not yours? It’s nacho cheese.

What do you get when you put a candle in a suit of armour? A knight light.