Tuesday, 23 April 2013

Performance Reviews – Time to quit

Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.

He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.

He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.

Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.

He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

A prime candidate for natural deselection.

This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better.

A gross ignoramus – 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

I would not allow this employee to breed.

Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.