Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Ba-dum Tish!
There were two peanuts walking down a dark alley, one was
assaulted.
What do you call a sleepwalking nun… A roamin’ Catholic.
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
Why did the orange stop? Because, it ran outta juice.
What’s brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!
Why did the storm trooper buy an iPhone? He couldn’t find
the Droid he was looking for.
Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.
Why did the stop light turn red??? You would too if you
had to change in the middle if the street!
Bacon and eggs walk into a bar and order a beer, the
bartender says sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.
What do you do with a dead chemist …. You Barium.
What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a Pitt
Bull? – Lipstick!
A guy walks into a bar with a set of jumper cables…the
bartender says, buddy, I’ll serve you as long as you don’t start anything.
Two cows are sitting in a field, and one says to the
other, “so, how about that mad cow disease?
Scary stuff, right?” To which to other replies,
“terrifying. But what do I care? I’m a helicopter.”
How does Jesus make tea???? Hebrews it.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Elephino!
What did the farmer say when he couldn’t find his
tractor? “Where’s my Tractor?!”
Have you heard about the duck that was arrested for
dealing? He was selling “quack”.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
How do you catch a unique rabbit? You ‘neek’ up on it.
How do you catch a tame rabbit? The ‘tame’ way.
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