Monday, 15 April 2013

Short Jokes – Page 2

Have you heard about corduroy pillows?! They’re making headlines!

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Ba-dum Tish!

There were two peanuts walking down a dark alley, one was assaulted.

What do you call a sleepwalking nun… A roamin’ Catholic.

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!

Why did the orange stop? Because, it ran outta juice.

What’s brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!

Why did the storm trooper buy an iPhone? He couldn’t find the Droid he was looking for.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

Why did the stop light turn red??? You would too if you had to change in the middle if the street!

Bacon and eggs walk into a bar and order a beer, the bartender says sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.

What do you do with a dead chemist …. You Barium.

What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a Pitt Bull? – Lipstick!

A guy walks into a bar with a set of jumper cables…the bartender says, buddy, I’ll serve you as long as you don’t start anything.

Two cows are sitting in a field, and one says to the other, “so, how about that mad cow disease?

Scary stuff, right?” To which to other replies, “terrifying. But what do I care? I’m a helicopter.”

How does Jesus make tea???? Hebrews it.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Elephino!

What did the farmer say when he couldn’t find his tractor? “Where’s my Tractor?!”

Have you heard about the duck that was arrested for dealing? He was selling “quack”.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

How do you catch a unique rabbit? You ‘neek’ up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit? The ‘tame’ way.