Tuesday, 2 April 2013

Sarcastic Quotes – Page 4

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

Those who believe in telekinetic, raise my hand.

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

Sometimes the road less travelled is less travelled for a reason.

The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact that the man didn't have to watch.

If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich manoeuvre,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich manoeuvre' when you're choking to death.

We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right.

His ignorance is encyclopaedic.

The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife.

It's never too late to go wrong.

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

I'll always cherish the original misconception I had of you.

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victim’s he intends to eat until he eats them.

He has Van Gogh's ear for music.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.

That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things too.

Stay with me; I want to be alone

Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of their possessions.

Strange as it may seem, my life is based on a true story.