Tuesday, 11 June 2013

Funny Quotes - Page 18

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

Don't be a sexist, broads hate that.

Bombs don't kill people, explosions kill people.

If someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is it considered a hostage situation?

A day without sunshine is like night.

Friction can be a drag sometimes.

When at the window at the unemployment office, loudly say, "I didn't get to where I am today by listening to people like you!"

The problem with sex in the movies is the popcorn usually spills.

Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!

George Bush has been working hard, 24 / 7 - 24 hours a week, 7 months a year.

The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.

Failure is not an option. It's bundled with your software.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Wear short sleeves; support your right to bare arms!

If evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.

Which one of these is the non-smoking lifeboat?

Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?

I have friends who swear they dream in colour; I say it's just a pigment of their imagination.

My mind is like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in 37 states.

Confucius say: Those who quote me are fools.

The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

It's not who you know, it's whom you know.

A good pun is its own reword.

When I was young, I just wanted a BMW. Now that I'm older, I don't need the W.