Thursday, 27 June 2013

Puns - Page 17

5000 hares have escaped from the zoo. The police are combing the area.

Novice pirates make terrible singers because they can't hit the high seas.

The frustrated cannibal threw up his hands.

If you need something done, call an electrician - they conduit.

I just got my permit to harvest shrimp in the Antarctic. Now I have a licence to Krill.

It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

Math teachers have lots of problems.

Let's talk about rights and lefts. You're right so I left.

There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.

Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you.

I don't find health-related puns funny anymore since I started suffering from an irony deficiency.

Mooning is lunacy.

Did you hear about the new pinata? It's a huge hit.

I can't find my rutabaga. I hope it will turnip.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

Mummies are bound to be uptight.

It's raining cats and dogs. Well, as long as it doesn't reindeer.

Whenever the Tyrannosaurus Rex would participate in an egg hunt he would always come up short-handed.

When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

Pencil sharpeners have a tough life - they live off tips.

A new type of broom came out, it is sweeping the nation.

I used to do rock climbing as a youth, but I was much boulder back then

After winter, the trees are relieved.

If you step onto a plane and recognize a friend of yours named Jack don't yell out Hi Jack!