Tuesday, 18 June 2013

Funny things to amuse yourself - Page 3

Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

Drive to work in reverse.

Tattoo "out to lunch" on your forehead.

Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

Relax by mentally reflecting on your favorite episode of the Flintstones during that important finance meeting.

Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

Make appointments for the 31st of September.

Stare at people through the lines of a fork and pretend they're in jail.

Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

Jam tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out.

Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

Never break eye contact..

Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

Never make eye contact.

At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."