If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!!
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it
down.
Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we
know how pretty you are?
Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you
think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good
with your dress?
No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark
anniversaries on a calendar.
Share the bathroom.
Share the closet.
Shopping is not everybody's idea of a good time.
Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with
it.
Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing
of the tides. Let it be.
The relationship is never going to be like it was the
first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your
girlfriends.
We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of
mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
We don't remember dates. . . .Period!!
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
during commercials.
Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their
right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.
If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
complaining about you leaving it down.
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost
every question.
Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing
from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you
want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.
You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
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